False and misguided patriotism duly noted, the U.S. men’s basketball team winning gold at the Olympics (as pre-ordained by a string of double-digit point spreads) was farcical to the objective eye, best exemplified by LeBron James dunking over some swizzle stick from South Sudan, then going through his flexing and roaring routine.
On a grade-school playground, that’s bullying.
On a basketball court in Paris, it fairly drips red, white and blue.
“What could be worse?” is a question to ponder, but the answer seems obvious even now: Flag football at the 2028 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles.
Besides the U.S., who the heck plays flag football? The U.S. will use ex-pros, preferably with name value, thus giving the NFL a tenuous link with the Olympics. Because of that connection, Olympic flag football will flood TV.
The resultant dominos falling will lead to some ex-NFL receiver — might I suggest JuJu Smith-Schuster — scoring seven touchdowns against, say, Tanzania. After each of those touchdowns, he executes a made-for-TV celebration that could be strung together, all seven of them, to script a Broadway musical. Call it “The Ugly American.”
The only nation that might hang with the U.S. is Canada. If Sidney Crosby plays.
It will be an absolute excrement show but will be drowned in endless glory, because it’s a way to kind of get the NFL into the Olympics.
It’s going to be terrible.
Even more terrible, you’re going to love it. It will again prove that our way of life is better.
U-S-A! U-S-A!
